Thursday, September 05, 2002

First Entry

Well this is my first entry into my new LiveJournal. I've never been good about keeping a journal mostly because I lose them, but I thought maybe this one will work.
So where to start. I guess this time in my life is a good time to start up a journal. I've been attending Cal Poly San Luis Obispo for a year now and have decided that it's not the school for me. It was a really tough choice to make because I have a family down there now.(not a blood family but you know what I mean) I have my friend circle and my contacts and my favorite places to hang out.

Now I'm starting the college hunt all over again. I need to find a college that doesn't force you to work towards a major every quarter like Poly does. I need to find a place that I can figure out what I like and where I want to go. This is looking like I'm headed back to OR. In fact, I'm looking at University of Oregon. A mere 3 hours from home. From the people that I spent the last 6 years with. Except for one he's 5 hours away because he went to a college in Seattle, but who's counting. Overall it would be a much better situation, plus I know people there.

Right now I'm counting down the days til I have to go back to school. As much as I love the people down there, I'm dreading going back. Mostly because I have overcommitted myself. I'm holding 4 officer positions plus 3 other normal club positions, marching band, academics, and I'm financially forced to get a job. Making me very apprehensive about going back, cuz last fall quarter I ground myself into the ground with everything that I was doing. I ended up getting really sick and finally just collapsing and sleeping for 49 hours.

Wow, I actually have a lot to say. Anyway my next topic is emotions. For a long time when I was growing up I had an iron-clad reign on my emotions then slowly I let them loose and now they have free reign. I guess because I had them held in so tight for so long that they don't know what to do with their freedom, so they flit back and forth everywhere. I have mixed feelings about everything and they like to jump from one thing to another. Makes it hard for me to want to try a relationship because I'm afraid I'll end up hurting someone and so far that's what has happened. A horrible thing to be young and inexperienced.

My grandparents have a pot holder that says "The problem ist ve are too soon oldt und too late schmart."

I don't know this for a fact yet but I can definitely see how that is correct

My longing: I look forward to the day I settle with my beautiful wife and have myself a family.

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