Oh to fathom the intricacies of the mind. Woe to the one that does not.
I said in one of my first posts that I was looking for love. Love that didn't have to be told or shown, but love that was just known. It's been proved to me tonight that I really don't know what I was looking for.
Or mayhap I do.
The expression of my own fears shows the desires unknown to me. What it seems I want to is to have a companion. Someone that is there with me through everything. Someone that knows my little nuances and looks out for me. Someone to joke with and someone that jokes with me. Someone to share the wonderful thing known as life with every day.
I wish that I could be stronger of mind or lesser of desire so that I could be happy with unconditional love. So that sharing of day to day events was only trivial and that the sharing of love was all that was needed.
I guess I just want too much. That is why I feel so alone and have such a longing all the time. There isn't anything/anyone capable of meeting the demands that I desire. I'm a black hole that sucks in everything it can and still isn't satisfied.