Sunday, November 03, 2002

Draining

I think I mentioned before that I had Calculus. I had a test last friday and I took it. While I was taking the test I was thinking everything was going to be hunky dory. I knew the material, the questions were not that difficult, and I was coming up with answers that made sense. Non chalantly I glance down at my watch while working on the 5th of 7 questions. Only 10 minutes left and I still had an a-c of question 6 and an a-f on question 7. Needless to say I wasn't even able to finish question 6. This is the first time that I have ever, I mean ever not finished a test in the alotted time. I mean there have been times where I've skipped over a question and gone on and then not had time to go back and re-think that question, but I've always finished. Grrrrrr...it's so frustrating, and apparently I wasn't the only one that had this problem. There were about 10 other people of 30 in the class that were grumbling at the end just like me. Of course there is this one annoying fuck in that back that just sits there and makes commentary all throughout class who was like "I've been done for like the last 20 minutes but I decided to do the differential the long way that really long problem. I had like 12 terms and 4 radicals...etc" So annoying.

Yeah anyway. I went camping this weekend. I had a taste of freedom. I went up there and I had to do absolutely nothing. First time in a loooong time and I'm going to have so much trouble getting back into the swing of things. People have been telling me for years that I do too much stuff. Right now I can very easily agree with them except for one thing. I have in my mind so many things that I haven't done that I want to do, and when I compare that to what I'm doing right now I'm way behind. I'm starting to get drained though. So far I've always been able to put forward the energy to do what I really don't want to do just because I know I should, but that is getting harder and harder to do. I'm running out of that energy. Something has to give soon. I dont' know what it is I need to quit though. It really doesn't seem like I'm doing that much, yet somehow my days get filled and I'm tired a lot. A typical day for me consists of going to Aikido in the morning then going and studying Japanese for a few hours. After Japanese I go to class for a few hours, then I have dinner and go to several different meetings for a few hours. Then I go home and it's like 11:00 already and I'm trying to figure out where the day went. On Dancing nights I'm not back home until 1. I've been saying for years that we need a 36 hour day. I'd probably just fill that up too. Oh well, besides failing Math, I really don't have anything in life to complain about too much. Overall life is good. I'm starting to get back in shape and feel good about myself there again, and I'm not fretting over pointless issues anymore. I just wish i had more time to do the things that I want...