Part 1: "The Costume Man"

So Saturday. We went to a renaissance fair. Very cool, which totally takes me back two days to start the story. So Kim had been invited to go to the ren fair with Nicole and Mary, though I didn't know that, and so I was wanting to go and I did get invited to go too, because I didn't know that Kim had already been invited I invted her too and decided that we needed to go to Second Time Around (a wonderful second hand store that was having a closing sale) to pick out costumes. So thursday we went to the store and we were trying to find costumes.

Then "the costume man" introduced himself. "Sir James" he said he was. Asked me if we were going to the ren fair and if we were looking for costumes. I said yes of course because that's what we were doing and so then he said that he was looking for someone to be his bodyguard at the fair and he would be able to provide a costume. He wouldn't give me his phone number but he told me to go over to his and try the costume on. Ok that was weird but he wasn't inviting the girls so everything was still kind of alright. So I agreed and I went to his house and tried on the costume. He was very strange he stood there and told me that I needed to take off my clothes so that I could get into the outfit that he had. So warily I took off my socks and shoes and slipped the shirt he offered (which really needed to be cleaned) on. Then he got me all dressed up in the costume, which was a full Scottish guard outfit. Very cool, but he was weird. He kept talking about lotion and how he gave massages and everything. Oh yeah, and he wanted me to go commando under the kilt of course, which is where the lotion came in, to keep from chaffing. I was extremely uncomfortable but only to the point of weirdness.

After trying the costume on I got his phone number and decided that I was going to leave. As I was leaving he gave me a hug! Ugh. It was very, very not comfortable. I didn't feel right at all, but I made it out the door with no further incident. Boy he was scary. So then the next day we went to the fair...