Saturday, December 25, 2004

Merry Christmas

This is the Christmas Entry. Merry Christmas to all of you that read this.

I spent the day today at Kim's parents' house and had christmas with her and her family. This was one of the more special christmas' that I have had in a long time. I felt not only a real part of her family, but I felt that I was celebrating with family, like it should be. The other day, Tuesday I think it was, Kim's father thanked me for a being a part of their family. I am really thankful this christmas to be a part of their family. They have accepted me into the family without question and with open arms. I feel at times that I am going to end up being closer to this family than to my blood kin, but that is partially because of proximity and Kim's strong attachment.

Over the last couple of years I have started to grow some bonds with my family that were never there as I was growing up and it's really a difficult process for me at times, but along those lines I have found some new family. My mom told me years ago that I have a half-sister out in the world somewhere that had been given up for adoption. Almost six years ago I posted a thing on adoption.com that allowed me to post the info I had about my half-sister and leave out there to find. About a week ago she contacted me. We have been e-mailing back and forth a little bit and it is very exciting to me. We will see what happens of that.

So all in all this christmas has just been a great time to reflect on all the things that I am thankful for and I plan on having a nice long post for the end of the year to detail those things.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good sight. God bless those that accept it and those that don't He'll probably bless you anyway. :)

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Massive Update

First of all, I deleted 140 spammer comments yesterday. LAME!

Now on to the good stuff. This past weekend Kim and I went to Sherman Oaks to visit my grandparents. It was a most relaxing trip. Unfortunately my grandma was pretty much laid out, she had knee surgery that Tuesday and so was still recuperating from that, but she was able to chat with us, so it was nice. They have a lot going on right now, selling their old studio, buying a new one, and filing lawsuit against a previous potential buyer. Lots of fun.

I don't think that I mentioned this earlier, but Kim's car had been acting up and we took it into Continental Motor Works here in town. WORD OF WARNING!!! These guys will rip you off if possible. When we brought Kim's car in they said that they'll run a diagnostic and call me with what's wrong. 4 hours later they called and told me that the spark plugs needed replacing and that the PC valve needed replacing. Grand total for that work parts and labor.....$500! Ridiculous I said. So he told me it was fine to come pick it up. It would only be $190 for the diagnostic. Freaking ridiculous. So I went with my grandpa and picked up a spark plug set, and Davidyo and I replaced the spark plugs ourselves, for about $60 dollars and an hour of time. So it works now and everything is good, but now my Volvo is acting up. It's never ending cycle. I've got it going into the Volvo dealer on Monday for a diagnostic that was only 5 dollars more than the cheapest place I found and I have reccomendations that this guy is good. So yeah, we'll see what the problem is.

So speaking of these cars, I spent probably 5 hours or so after the Continental Motor Works fiasco reading about how cars work on http://howstuffworks.com. Great, great site if you want to know about something from the basic level up. I now understand basically how cars work and am starting to recognize things inside the engine and under the car. Which reminds me, my grandpa got me a 2 ton floor jack and two jack stands. Woot!

In other news, I took my real estate licensing exam on Tues and found out this morning that I PASSED!!!! WOOHOO!!!! I don't have to take it again. Now I just have to take the classes associated with that, get and pay for the actual license, and find a broker to work for. Woot bang.

I think that's all for now, but yeah AWESOMENESS, I'm done with my test!!!!

Monday, December 13, 2004

It worked

So for the past two weeks, maybe even a little less. Sean and I have been conspiring to get Paul a Kitchenaid stand mixer. This baby can cost upwards of $350 bucks for this model. So instead of Sean and I paying almost 200 bucks a piece, I contacted all the people that know Paul and got donations from them. About 20 people later we made our quota with people donating anywhere from 5-25 bucks per person.

Last night we presented it to him and he loved it. A lot of the people that helped to make the purchase showed up to see what his reaction would be. It was very cool.

Sean and I also pitched in to get David and new toolbox for his myriad of tools stored haphazardly in a leather satchel. Sean also got me the Aladdin DVD and David and I pitched in a long time ago to get Sean a very nice coffee maker. This coffee maker was user this morning and I have to say that the coffee is far superior to that of the formerly used french press, IMHO. The fact that it was Kona coffee helped too.

There is now 8 days until I take my Real Estate Licensing exam. I really need to do well on this so that I can get started on my future career. The other pressing dilema is to figure out exactly which broker firm I want to go work for. I think I have mostly made up my mind on going to work at Realty One in Atascadero. This does mean however that I won't be able to live off of the money that I have saved up as would have happened had I worked at ReMax.

Kim and I have been discussing what we are going to do about the car situation. We are definitely going to be selling her Thunderbird once we get it to a condtion that is working. Right now it is shaking really, really badly the moment you start the car and doesn't stop. I think maybe it is something to do with the spark plugs, but we'll see tomorrow when I take it into the shop.

Sunday, December 12, 2004

New Members

So today was the day that Kim and I officially joined the Atascadero United Methodist Church. It was nice, everyone came up after the service and welcomed us to the church. I felt really good about it. So did the music director of the church, Kim's former piano teacher. He pulled her aside mere moments after the service was over and we had talked to everyone. He wants her to start training as a sub for the pianist and eventually the organist and was absolutely thrilled when he found out that Kim and I would be joining the church. So Kim is going to learn to play the Organ, which will be cool. Her parents have a full-size organ at their house that is a legacy of Kim's grandfather, and so very special. It's going to be good that she is going to learn to play it.

That's all I just wanted to share with everyone because I was excited about it.

Saturday, December 11, 2004

Opinionated Commentary

So I watch a small portion of the movie "Mission to Mars" for the second time. I have one word for that movie. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, DUMB!! For you kings of sarcasm and smartasses out there, that is one word repeated 5 times.

More commmentary. I finally finished the book The Bourne Identity by Robert Ludlum. Very, very good book. I thoroughly enjoyed it right up to the horribly stupid ending. It was a very, dissappointing ending and I believe that has to do with the fact that there's a sequel. If feels though, like the end was both abrupt and not well thought out, maybe because he wasn't sure when he started writing that he was going to have two books? I don't know, but I didn't like the ending.

Number of people that read my blog. Too few. My fault, but too few. I have had more comments in a week from spammers than I've gotten the whole year from friends. So if you're a friend, feel free to comment a lot and prove me wrong.

That's all for now.

Monday, December 06, 2004

My Christmas List

Upon Request:

DVDs: All Widescreen of course.
  • Lord of the Rings: Return of the King Platinum Edition
  • Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone
  • Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets
  • Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban
  • X-men United: X2
  • Aladdin


Tool Things
  • A cordless drill
  • A toolbox to carry my tools that is big, but portable


Clothes
  • Nice Van Heusen solid color ties
  • Nice dress shirts, size 16-16 1/2 by 34/35, I like van Heusen
  • Nice dress slacks, size 34x32 preferrably black or navy blue
  • A tie rack or hanger for my closet
  • A pants press


Kitchen Items
  • A deep fryer, mmmm
  • 12in Splatter Screen


Intangible Stuff
  • I want a good Real Estate Job
  • Semi-instant hot water from the tap
  • and of course the unoriginal World Peace


These are just some ideas for those that don't have one. Use your best judgement.

Thursday, December 02, 2004

I'm finished

So I finished my last class at Cal Poly today. I feel really good. Especially because I passed the class with a B just for the simple fact that I gave a really good presentation.

I gave a presentation on Père Pierre Teilhard de Chardin and believe it or not I actually found it enjoyable. Teilhard's tried in his time to unite religion and science and actually predicted that something similar to the internet would form, an "information web" he called it. Interesting, no? Seeing as how he died in 1955. He was also real big on the whole, everything-is-connected-through-energies-and-spirit, thing. Very Eastern, but apparently really big in the 60's.

Anyway, that's about all.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Busy Time of Year

I am starting to get really booked on the number of performances that I have. Between TMC and my new Handbell choir I have like 6 concerts coming up in the next 4 weeks. It's going to be fun.

That's it for now.

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Bridal mayhem

I think that one of the most intimidating things I have ever done is buying a bridal gown. Well, I didn't actually buy it, my parents did... But anyway. It's a really scary thing! You want it to be absolutely perfect, and there are so many styles and options you can get. Formal, informal, white, diamond white, ivory, beaded, embroidered, sleeveless, strapless, A-line, princess, mermaid, corseted, petticoat, no petticoat, chapel train, cathedral train, with gloves, without gloves, with veil, without veil, blusher veil, two peice veil, chapel veil, cathedral veil, beaded veil, unbeaded veil, hair up, hair down, flowers, jewelry, tiara, no tiara, something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. And then there was the price.... but we won't dwell on things that are in the past and can't be changed. ;)

Friday, November 26, 2004

Thanksgiving in Review

Man I LOVE thanksgiving food. I thoroughly enjoyed the mashed potatoes and gravy (mmm...gravy), the stuffing, the turkey, the craberry sauce, the green stuff, the dolmas, the green bean casserole, the sweet potatoe pie, the pies (apple the good way, pumpkin, and not so much on the pecan), and most of all the time of sitting around with family. Granted this year the people I was around aren't quite family yet, officially. They just feel that way to me. So I had a good time.

I also got to talk with my mom and my other family over there in Arkansas. So that was good too. I think that next year Kim and I are going to go over to Arkansas for thanksgiving.

Ok that's all for now.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy T-day everybody!!! Make sure that you eat waaaay too much and enjoy the time off.

Turkey Day!

Happy Thanksgiving everybody! Hope you have a good one!

Monday, November 22, 2004

The Monday after

It's monday, but it's not a bad one. The nice thing about today is that I'm actually going to get to stay home today, since I don't have choir practice. Speaking of choir, the performance saturday was awesome. Everyone sang great, we had a good time, and the audience was thoroughly entertained. Dad says that I really set the stage with my solo peice, which is probably true. He started out with dimming the lights until there was only a spotlight on the piano, and I walked in all by myself. I was terrified, but apparently it was the dramatic touch he was looking for. I sat down at the piano and just started playing, no introduction, no nothing. People slowly stopped talking, and after about 30 seconds I was on a roll and the audience was silent, just listening. Not bad, if I may say so. It's been a long time since I enjoyed manipulating an audience like that. I played Edvard Greig's piano solo called Butterfly. It's not a very difficult peice in technical terms, I learned it when I was 13, but it's breathtaking when played with the right amount of expression. I put a lot of feeling into it, and I like to take a few creative liberties in how I interpret some of the passages. It's really a beautiful piece. I had a lot of people come to me and congratulate me afterwards, and one man asked if I played professionally! Wow. If only they knew that I was shaking to pieces out of nervousness, and that I actually forgot part of it and skipped an entire section to cover it up. All in all, I had a good performance, and it's made me miss playing the piano the way I used to. I feel like I want to start practicing regularly again, maybe take a few lessons. But can I really find the time? I don't know. Will I make the time? We shall see....

Job for Life

Well I have been looking around for possible positions as a real estate agent and have been finding a myriad of opportunities. I have talked to several agents who are all working for different firms and have been able to get a good grasp on what I'm going to need ask about while I am interviewing, so we'll see how that goes. I have an interview today with one of the larger firms in the north county ReMax. I'm also going to be talking to a gentleman who works for Coldwell Banker and see if I can get another job interview there. So things are going quite well.

In other news, I have nice new flannel sheets on my bed because it has been really cold these last few nights and if I'm going to be going to the North County where it is even colder than I am going to need something like that. Flannel sheets are good.

Oh and Davidyo has said that he will be able to help us with at least a little bit of the construction that Kim and I are going to be doing to the apartment. I've already mentioned that Kim and I are going to be living in an apartment on her parents' property right?

...

Yes, I did. So yeah, that's going to be great and we're really excited about it. I think probably shortly after the holidays we're going to start cleaning the place up and see about getting ready for all the changes that we want to make to it. Yay!

That's all, except I also want to give a shoutout to Pam to "Feel Better" and to keep hoping that all her medical tests are going to pinpoint the exact problem and figure out how to make her better.

Song Playing: "Brown-eyed Girl"

Friday, November 19, 2004

Spam Commenting

For some reason unknown to myself I have been recieving quite the influx of comment spam. I have a lovely plug-in for Moveabletype called Moveable Type Blacklist which will allow me to filter out spammers by both IP address and domain and allow me to delete spam comments en mass. However, the persistence of these spammers is significant for I recieve new ones almost daily. This is quite annoying. I will NOT however, disable comments. I am a firm believer that comments are an integral part of any blog. I will consider upgrading to MT3 though, as Sean did. His method of loggin in, though sometimes strenuous in that it doesn't work properly, does make a more selective form of commenting.

Speaking of Sean I congratulate him, though somewhat late, on the official "titling" of himself and Sarah. You two are a great match.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Insert Random Topic Here

So.

Yeah.

I have no @#%&ING clue what you want me to say about peanut butter candy.

It's candy.

It's peanut butter-y.

And they all lived happily ever after.

The End

In Response to Kim's Post

This post is somewhat of a serious post and may come as surprising to some of you so only read on if you want to.

I have been attending church my entire life. I was in fact, quite involved at my church in Oregon before I moved to California. After moving to California however, I never found a church that I enjoyed very much and I just kind of stopped looking, so I didn't attend church anymore. There has also been something else that kept me from looking for another church and that is my faith. I have for as long as I can remember had burning questions inside me and views that are quite contrary to what all the churches I've ever attended taught. I whole-heartedly and openly believe in God and believe that He is good, which is why I can still attend church and feel like I'm part of it. I don't believe everything that the church has to offer and that is partially because of the origins of a lot of the traditions and the fact that organized religion is run too much like a business. Anyway, I'm not going to go into depth about my religous convictions and beliefs right now maybe some other time. I was just giving some background.

This new church that Kim and I have been attending is very, very much like the church that I was attending in Oregon and I'm really enjoying attending there because it's familiar, the people are nice, and I can picture having a family at a church like this. Every single church that I have gone to here in SLO I have not felt like I could have a family there and I didn't really have much fun it was mostly just a show and strengthened my dislike for organized relgion. I will admit there is a lot of good preachin going on at some of these churches, especially my friend Joe's church, Shoreline Christian, or something like that. That preacher can preach. I highly reccomend going to at least one of his sermons just to listen.

So I just wanted to explain that, though I have seemed somewhat agnostic towards church to some of you people who read this blog, that has not ever been the case. I just had not found a church that I felt like I could be an active part of or would enjoy attending every Sunday. That's all I have to say about that.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Church

Church is one of those subjects I usually like to steer away from. Mostly because I've noticed that whenever people hear that I'm "religious", they either look at me askance and start sidling away slowly, or they try to goad me into a debate over religion, faith, the meaning of life, moral issues, etc. etc. etc.... neither of which I care for much. But most people who know me well know that my faith is very important to me. Not religion, mind you, just faith. I have never defined myself as a "religious" person. But I'm not going to go into that right now. I'm too tired, and at the moment I really don't care to get into that discussion again.

For a long time now I've been feeling like I'm drifting spiritually. It's a feeling that's inside me, and kind of nagging away all the time. I have this deep sense that I want to find a place where I belong, maybe what I've heard some people call a "church family". I have plenty of family already, but it would be nice to have a group of people that I know and see often that understand where I'm coming from, who don't look at me like I'm from another planet if I say the five-letter "F" word. I've tried a lot of churches in the area, and never really felt completely comfortable with any of them. But lately I've been attending the United Methodist church in A-town with Myles. I was surprised at how friendly all the people there were. They have been very welcoming to us. We went the first sunday just out of curiosity, because we were planning on being married there and we wanted to see what the church looked like. But everyone was so nice, we just kept coming back, and now it's been over a month. I'm starting to think that this is going to be the place where we settle down for awhile. I know Myles likes it, and I'm starting to like it too. This church is certainly different than what I'm used to, but not in any bad ways. So we'll see what happens. The only thing I'm worried about is that if I become a member, they're gonna want to baptize me. That's a definite issue with me. I've never been dunked, and I wasn't planning on it anytime soon, for reasons of my own. So we'll see what happens. But so far, so good, right? I'll post more on that some other time, maybe. For now, I'm going to get some sleep. I've got a busy day ahead of me tomorrow.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Nerdiness

I have now updated both my laptop and my desktop to Fedora Core 3 Coolness.

In other news I have cleaned my room and finally installed shelves that had been sitting in the room for a long time. That's all for now, maybe more later.

Choir

For anyone who doesn't know, I am a member of The Master's Chorale. It is a community christian choir that sings music of all styles, everything from southern gospel to latin classical music. We are definitely not your typical church choir, seeing as how 1) we're actually good, and 2) our music is interesting to listen to whether you're religious or not. The group is over a year old and is making quite a name for itself out there in the community. I highly recommend you come to our next concert, which happens to be this Saturday at 3:00. (Not to put a shameless advertisement for our choir in my blog, or anything.) But it's at 3:00 at the ABC church in Atascadero, and its FREE! Come and listen to us, its gonna be a really good concert, and I'll be playing a piano solo my dad roped me into. It's gonna be fun. Here's the link to our website:

http://www.themasterschorale.org/

Have fun!

Family

Sometimes I think I should start calling my dad Mr. Mallett. Not that anyone reading this would understand the humor in that. Chris Mallett was a funny guy. He was the director of a band I used to play in way back when, and he had the most annoying habit of counting up to the first note of the song, and as we all took a deep breath to begin playing, he'd suddenly stop and ask some silly question. Usually he'd ask some poor random soul if they had a date to the candlelight dance yet. And the thing was, if you anticipated that he really wasn't going to actually start the song and didn't take that deep breath, he'd get on your case for not breathing! *sigh* Those were good times. My dad does that at choir practice, too.

So my parents are really cool, they're going to let Myles and I live in the barn after we get married. The even cooler part is that they're going to let us live there rent-free. Sweet! That means we can save up money to be able to buy a house sooner. But I am really happy they're going to let us move in there. It needs a lot of work, but we're up to it! I'm releived that my family also understands that this is where Myles and I will be living, and that they need to give us our privacy. First thing I want to do after we move in is change the locks... ;)

Monday, November 15, 2004

Work

Work is going well. Very well. They started setting me loose and letting me work mostly unsupervised about two weeks ago, and oh MAN did I make a lot of mistakes! It was pretty bad for a while there, but the time I spent going back and fixing all those mistakes taught me more than I would have learned if someone had just told me how to do it. And I'm doing much better now. I'm still making a few mistakes, but it's all fixable. So I'm learning a lot.

Last week my manager dropped several not-so-subtle hints that they (meaning she and my boss) were very happy with my performance so far. That's even after all those mistakes I made! She hinted that they were planning on decreasing my probation period by a month and giving me permanent-employee status on Dec. 1st. Basically, all that means is I get a key to the office. But hey, it means they mean to keep me around for a while! And today my manager told me that they were willing to enroll me in the state board certification exam coming up in May. She said that taking and passing the exam would most likely involve a pay raise, as well. I love this place!

So, long story short, I've landed myself a fabulous job with a great company. I'm not planning on going anywhere for a good long while!

My Wedding

Planning a wedding is one of the most stressful tasks I have ever encountered. I don't know what I'd do without my mom helping me. The other day I saw her "wedding binder". It literally had everything in there, down to the last email I had sent her about bridesmaids dresses. She had sections under Ceremony, Reception, Food, Dresses, Music, Photography, everything! I was amazed. But I am pleased to say that we ARE making good progress- we have a date, a place, a time, a dress, and we've just put the deposit on the cake!

One thing that I have tried very hard to do is to avoid talking about my engagement and future wedding plans incessantly to all my friends. I hate it when engaged couples do that to other people, and I promised myself I wouldn't do that. So if anyone out there in I-like-to-read-Kim's-blog land wants to hear more details, leave a comment! I'd be more than happy to satisfy your curiosity.

Myles

Myles is wonderful. What more can I say?

Sunday, November 14, 2004

New Monitor

Well yesterday I went out with Davidyo garage saling and found a yard sale that had a 19" NEC monitor that looked in pretty good shape for 15 bucks. I was happy with it, so I bought it. It's nice.

Other than that, Kim and I went cake testing and put a deposit down at the cake place in Atascadero called "Cassie's" Apparently a really good place because she has one several awards and the cake was really good. Exciting. Also the wedding is going to be at 4:00PM on the 16th of July 2005, with a reception to follow at Kim's parents' house. Kim and I are going to live in an apartment on her parents' property while we're just starting out. It'll be nice and we're starting to fix it up a bit now. So that'll be nice. I'm also getting ready to start my real estate career. Exciting times. That's all for now.

UPDATE: It's actually a 21" monitor. Not 19".

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

I'm Back

I heard a rumor that there are actually people out there who are interested in reading my blog. Even more shocking, they noticed that I stopped blogging and told me that I should write more!!!

Wow.

I'm touched :)

So where did I leave off? Hmm..... Myles is wonderful, new job, hot date where Myles asked me to marry him, new job being annoying.... I didn't give you much info, did I? I don't have time to go into juicy details right now, because I only have 9 minutes left in my lunch break, but I promise to make an extra effort very soon. Here's the topics I'd like to discuss-

1. Myles
2. My upcoming marriage
3. Work
4. Family
5. Choir
6. Church
7. (Insert Random Topic Here)

Those are the things that my life is pretty much made up of right now. There have been a lot of things going on, which is why I've been too busy to blog. But I'll get to it. I promise. But for right now, I need to get back to billing insurance companies and ordering lab jobs. I just hope things don't get too crazy again this afternoon, seeing as how Dr. Oelker will be in the office. But more on that later.

Sha lala la lala la....

Monday, November 08, 2004

Make this Make sense

I changed my address information online today at Geico.com for my auto insurance, because I realized that I hadn't done that yet. So I get a lovely email response telling me this.

Your new six-month premium is $393.70.
This is an increase of $10.30 per six months.
This amount is prorated from today's date to the end of the policy period.
Your prorated increase will be $9.30.


How does changing my address from apt 80 to apt 82 increase my rate by 10.30 per 6 months? I don't understand...

Monday, November 01, 2004

That was fast

So I got my date for the Real Estate exam. I'm going to be taking it on the 21st of December, that's right TUESDAY the 21st. So I have to get my butt over to Fresno on a Tues, but wait there's more. It's at 7:45 AM on Tues so I have to get my butt over there the night before. Luckily, I have some wonderful friends over there in Fresno that are going to be more than willing to put me up. So yeah, awesome. I'm stoked. I also have an interview on Monday with a real estate broker looking for agents at a small firm in Atascadero. Sounds absolutely perfect. So we'll see where that goes. That's it, bye.

Friday, October 29, 2004

Falling Apart

This is a shout out to Shane letting him know it's not just his car that falls apart, but all Volvo 240s. This morning as I was driving I heard something dragging from the car and when I looked I realized that it was the plastic piece that guards the oil pan on the bottom of the car. Woe to those who drive Volvo 240s...

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Squirrelmail

So I figured out how I can transfer mail. My problem was I couldn't find the file that stored the information for the inbox. What I could do however is find the files that stored the info for all the other folders. So I created folders and just moved the stuff around to those folders, copied the files, and like magic they appeared in the new account. Yay me for being creative.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

New Design

I'm trying for a new site design tell me what you think!

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Another New Host

I have succesfully (mostly) moved my site from my old host to the new one. The new one had a really good deal to take advantage of and I did. The new host is Site5 and I get quite the bang for my buck. The only thing I'm really struggling with right now is trying to get the old e-mail messages that were read exclusively on Squirrelmail. I thought it would be as simple as transferring a file over, but so far no luck.

In regards to work, Jim changed his mind yet again and I am going to be able to find a new job until my lease runs out. Then I think that they have plans to find a new Resident Manager. I'm excited and have been looking like crazy. I have completed the Real Estate Principles course, the first step necessary for getting your Real Estate Salesperson license. I now get to hurry up and wait for them to respond to me about my exam date. I want to try and get a job in a real estate office somewhere that will let me get my foot in the door. We'll see what happens. That's all for now.

Monday, October 18, 2004

Not Writing

So a lot has happened.

First thing is that I'm getting married. Quite exciting. It's going to happen officially on July 16th, 2005. Yay!

Next, I'm going to be quitting Cal Poly after this quarter. I'm going to start attending Cuesta Community College and finishing an AA at least. I'm also attempting to get a job that pays well. There are issues right now with my current job. I'm kind of locked into a lease and am getting $850 a month concession that I stand a very good chance of losing. In which case I couldn't afford housing. So we'll see what happens with that.

In other news, we have Dish network now and it's coolness because of the video recording. It's nice.

Friday, October 08, 2004

i want to go home

rrrrgh,

this guy has been talking to the opticians about the SAME THING over and over again for the last 2 hours. Why can't we just kick him out and tell him to go aggravate some other office?

It's Friday.

I'm tired.

I want to go home....

Monday, October 04, 2004

Latest News

I'm getting married!

I don't have any time to blog in more detail, so that's all I will write for now... but I will say that I am more in love with Myles every single day. He is absolutely wonderful. What I said in my last entry was right, I am very, very lucky to have him in my life. I love you, babe!

Friday, September 24, 2004

I'm so Lucky

I think that I'm the luckiest person in the world. I am sitting here bored out of my mind waiting for 5:00 to roll around so I can get away from work and start my weekend, and I'm as lucky as a girl can be. Does that confuse you? I'll explain- the reason I can't wait to get out of work is because after work I'm going to go home and take a shower, get myself all clean and pretty, and then I'm going to put on my nice clothes and go meet Myles for a date. He's taking me out for dinner to celebrate my new job. I love him so much! And that's why I'm the luckiest person in the world, because I have him to daydream about when I'm stuck in the office with nothing to do.

Thursday, September 23, 2004

And the Winner Is....

Monday was awful. I waited, and waited, and waited some more. I had to go to work Monday morning, which was the last thing I was interested in doing at that point, and I must have checked my messages 5 times before my first break. Then my mom left me a message letting me know that they had called my dad's work to get a reference for me. That was maddening! I knew they were making their decision, and all I could do was wait to get the call. I agonized because I had considered sending a follow-up letter after the interviews, but since I didn't have a printer, I really couldn't write one without driving all the way to Templeton just to use my parent's printer. I kept thinking, "you should have done it, you should have taken the extra effort to get that letter sent, it might make the difference you need if they're deciding between you and another applicant...." Over and over I kept playing different scenarios of how I might have possibly made a different or better impression, what if I had answered that question differently, anything!

Finally at lunchtime the message was there for me. I called back and got the answering machine, so I left a message of my own. Then I had to wait some more! I listened to the message several times trying to figure out if I could tell by the tone in her voice if she was calling to congratulate me, or if there was that "I'm so sorry I have to disappoint you" tone in her voice. But I couldn't tell. I had to wait. Finally, the office manager called back.

I GOT IT!!!!!

YES!!!

They offered me a really nice position- Dispensing optician, full time, 40 hours a week, no weekends, starting at 50 cents an hour more than I'm making now. Sweet!! I am so, so happy about this I can't find words for it. I gave notice that same day. Of course, that dampened my excitement a bit. I felt so bad giving notice to an employer who's been so great. But this opportunity is more than I can ignore. They've been generous as it is, giving me over 30 hours a week when the job could be done in as little as 20. So I really appreciate them, and I'm sorry to leave. But I know it's for the best. I am so excited about this new job, I know it's going to be great. I feel like this is exactly what I should be doing, that I'm right where I should be. It's really nice to have so much peace about the decision I've made, instead of the usual agonizing and vasillating, the fear of change. I'm scared of this change, too, but it's different. I know I can do this. I know this change is for the best.

Well my first full day is October 1st. I'll be blogging all about it later. Right now I'm hungry, and I want some food.

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Should I?

I just realized a few days ago when I was blogging that I can save an entry but not have it show up on my website. That's a very tempting thing to me, because there are so many things I wish I could blog that I don't want anyone else to see. Things that I would like to write (or type) down, but that I am uncomfortable letting others know about. Mostly these personal things are about my feelings, or things I think about to myself, or things that have happened to me that are very special but not something I can share. And now I feel so tempted to blog those things. I don't know if I will or not, but I'm sure thinking about it...

Monday, September 20, 2004

The Interrogation

"You're late!"

I knew she was joking, but I was a little bit rattled when those were the first words I heard as I walked into the office for my second interview. My appointment was at 5:30, and I was rushing in at 5:32. Normally I wouldn't allow myself to be so late (in fact, I like to be early), but I think it was excusable, seeing as how there was an emergency patient call I took at my office which came in at 4:50, which meant I didn't end up closing the office and leaving until 5:15. Then I rushed to my place and threw on my nice clothes, and fought traffic at about 95 mph all the way to Morro Bay. All in all, I think I made it there in pretty good time. I was led into the doctor's office and left to wait.

Five minutes later the doctor came in and introduced herself. Apparently she had had a busy day, too, because she still seemed very tired and like her mind was full of other things.

"Hi, Kim, it's nice to meet you. Would you like some water?"

"Yes, thank you." (I hadn't eaten yet, and I was both hungry and thirsty.)

She disappeared for a few minutes and returned with two cold bottles of water. Oh, it tasted so good! I enjoyed my water and watched as she sat down and arranged some papers on the desk. We exchanged a few pleasantries about how busy it can be in an office, and the traffic in SLO, and then got down to business.

"So I know that my office manager has already told you a little bit about the office and the position we have available; I'd like to ask you some different questions..."

I looked at her as she opened the folded papers in front of her- at least three sheets of paper with questions typed on them. *gulp* Now I'm starting to feel pretty comfortable with the whole process of hiring and interviewing, and I think I'm becoming fairly good at giving a decent interview, but I was not prepared for what would come next. She proceeded to begin drilling me with questions- "Tell me about why you want this job. Why are you leaving the office you're in now? What classes did you take in college? What about high school? Which class in high school did you like best and why? Which class did you like least and why? What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? How do you deal with difficult patients? What about difficulties with co-workers? How do you feel about filing? About doing duties that aren't necessarily part of the job you were hired for? How do you feel about elderly people? What would you do in this or that scenario? What are your goals for the future? Where do you see yourself in 5 years? In 10 years?..."

The list went on and on. The whole time she was talking with me she kept eye contact. It really started to bother me after a little while, because she would look at me and ask a questions, and then as I answered she would begin taking notes, but never break her eye contact with me. I was sitting there looking at her and fighting the urge to look away or look down while still concentrating on answering her questions intelligently. It was one of the most difficult things I've ever done, to sit there and concentrate on answering these questions with that kind of distraction. It was maddening, she just kept that eye contact and continued calmly writing down everything I said. I kept wondering if she would even be able to read what she had written after she was done. I almost think she did it on purpose to try and fluster me, just to see how I'd handle it. All in all, it was very disconcerting, but I think I handled it well.

Afterward she showed me around the office again and explained where things were and more of how the office worked. The interview lasted almost 2 and a half hours. I finally got home at almost 8 completely exhausted. I was so glad it was friday, because my mind was mush. I felt like I had been in some kind of psychological battle or something, I just couldn't think anymore. But it's done now. I was so tired afterwards, and worried. I was worried that I might not be offered the job, even after all the effort and mental energy I had put towards it. I kept thinking to myself, if they liked me enough to interview me for a total of 3 and a half hours, why didn't they offer me the job right then and there? I knew the soonest I would hear from them was Monday. I had all weekend to worry about it, and believe me, I worried a lot.

Saturday, September 18, 2004

Opportunity Knocks

I have had a lot happen to me this past week. I don't think that I can fit it all into one blog entry, partly because I don't have the time to type it all, and partly because I don't know how the story is going to end just yet. But I can start with what's happend so far, anyway. It all started last weekend when opportunity knocked.

Last weekend I was cleaning the office and thinking to myself that I really, really hate cleaning the office on the weekends. I want my weekends to myself. The only reason I even agreed to clean the office was because I desperately needed more hours. Even though I have a good job and I work in a really nice office, I would like to work at my job and not have to do additional things (like janitorial work) to make ends meet. Sure, I can do it, and I am doing it, but I'd rather just do one job at a time. So I am cleaning and thinking along these lines when the vacuum cleaner starts acting funny. Then it starts acting really funny and making a strange noise. As I turn the &!@% thing off, I notice a thin wisp of smoke trailing out from the engine vents.

Great....

Why me?.....

At first I thought that it was my fault. I had been suspecting that the bag was getting full, but I had been avoiding changing it for two reasons: A) I didn't have a new bag to put into it, and B) I didn't know how to install a new bag even if I had one, and C) I didn't really care that much, mainly because of that certain weekend laziness that tends to kick in on weekends. Yes, I know that that's technically three reasons, but I don't really feel like going back and fixing what I already wrote, and who cares, it's my blog and no one reads it anyway. So I'm kicking myself thinking that I ruined the office vacuum cleaner and it's gonna come out of my paycheck. Combined with the I-hate-cleaning-the-office feelings I had been experiencing earlier, I wasn't feeling exactly warm and fuzzy about my work that day. So I went and bought a newspaper. I went straight to the employment listings, and what did I find? A want ad for an Optometry office in Morro Bay looking for an optician. "experience preferred, will train right person" Ding ding ding ding ding!!! We have a winner!! Well, it didn't quite happen like that, but it certainly caught my attention. I munched on it for a day, then decided I would send in my resume. I updated my list of accomplishments and printed it out with a nice cover letter, got up first thing on Monday morning and dressed myself real nice to make a good first impression, and dropped it off with the office manager. I wasn't very sure they would respond at all, so I was very surprised that by lunchtime that same day I had a message on my phone from the office manager asking me for an interview. Wow. I went in for the interview on Thursday morning and I think it went really well. The gal who interviewed me was nice, and the office looked very nice and well run. I was briefly introduced to the other staff members, who seemed friendly, too. That day I left and went back to work at 1, and when I checked my phone at 5, I had a message asking me to come back in for a second interview with the doctor herself. Wow again! I called back at about 5:10, and they asked me if I could come in at 5:30. I already had plans that I couldn't ignore, so I had to say no. The receptionist put me on hold, then the doctor came to the phone to talk to me herself. She asked again if I could come at 5:30, and I said no, I'm sorry I can't. So she says, "well if you can't come in tonight, do you think you can make it tomorrow?" I said yes, and arranged with her that we would meet at 5:30 the next day, Friday. She said she was looking forward to meeting me, we exchanged some pleasantries, and we hung up.

O_O

Now maybe its just me, but things seemed to be moving a little bit fast at that point. I was still trying to figure out how on earth I had suddenly found myself back in the world of resumes and interviews, when I'm getting called in for the formal "second interview". Translation: "we're seriously considering hiring you". And this isn't just some side job like I've always held in the past. I wouldn't be working part time doing busywork for someone else, or a receptionist answering phones all day and filing paperwork, I'd be an optician. That's like, a real career! We're talking full time, salary, benefits, retirement package, paid time off, the works. C-A-R-E-E-R. I know I'm making a big deal out of that, but I'm still getting used to the possibility that maybe I'm finally going to be getting a career. I've always wanted one, but I've never been able to, being a college student and all. And now, all of a sudden, before my very eyes, the possibility is presenting itself. I am so excited!

But I'm losing my train of thought. At that point, I was starting to get really nervous. I was only just recovered from the nervousness of the interview I'd had that same morning, and already I had to start preparing myself to meet with the doctor who would be hiring me. She had sounded very professional on the phone, very "let's get to the point". Shrewd, I think would be a good word to describe my initial impression of her. So I started preparing myself mentally for my second interview. I felt like a deer in headlights when I thought about how the next day was going to go. I was going to be working from 9-5, then I had to get back to my apartment and change clothes, then drive through that typical end-of-the-day traffic to get to Morro Bay by 5:30. That's cutting it pretty close. I knew timing would be everything, and I was worried. I just wanted it to be over.

That night I couldn't stop thinking about my upcoming interview, and I did some pretty stupid stuff to try and get my mind off of it that didn't help much. I thought I had been in enough interviews to know pretty much everything I should expect, but I didn't have any idea what was in store for me. But this entry is already getting pretty long, so I'm going to stop for now. When I blog again, I'll describe the details of my second interview. Or, as I've started thinking of it, The Interrogation.

Saturday, September 11, 2004

I got an email with this quote in it, its not your typical feel-good-happy-happy-joy-joy quote:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand - champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO - What a Ride!"

hehe

yeah, that's cool

Friday, September 10, 2004

TGIF

So today is friday. I'm glad I made it through this week. Even though it was a short week it seemed to go by so slowly. But now it's the weekend! yay! I still have to clean the office, but that doesn't take very long, the hardest part is getting my butt over there and actually doing it. Of course, after I'm done I feel really good because my weekend is officially started. So that's what I'm going to do tomorrow, it will be nice to have it done. Also while I'm at the office I'm going to make copies of our new music for choir. It takes a while, but I like doing it for the choir. I can't make donations in money or things to buy for the group, so I give by making time to do stuff like boring copies. I also make the parts tapes for people who don't read music. I enjoy doing that, because it's something I do really well and I know that it helps people in the choir. Now that we have new music I need to start learning it and get the new one going. Well, first copy the music. That's what I plan on doing tomorrow.

Tonight my dad asked me if I would think about singing a solo at our Thanksgiving concert. This is that big, whoop-lah solo that all the people in the choir have been squabbling over, that I never thought I'd get much of a chance at. Dad said that even though the other women who have sung it are much better singers than I am in the technical side of things, he likes my interpretation the best. He asked me if I would be willing to work on my problem spots, and start improving my tone, etc. so I could be ready to sing in November. I'm really glad that he asked me, and I want to do my very best. So I'm going to start working on it again. I hope I do well. I want him to see that I can do this, that I'm improving in my abilities and that I can be a capable soloist. I'll try my best, and I told him that. So this weekend I'll also start doing my vocal exercises again. That's in addition to the 30 to 90 minutes of piano practice I've added to my schedule so I can learn a new song, also at the request of my dad. He wants me to play a few classical peices on the piano as prelude music while people are coming in and sitting down before the concert. So I'm practicing until my arms are sore, then I rest a few days, then I practice again. At first I didn't see much progress and I was very discouraged, but this last week I'm finally starting to see little improvements. So I'll be singing and playing excercises on the piano, devoting probably 1-2 or more hours a day to improving my musical abilities. Man, it feels good! :)

Well I think I'm going to go to bed now. I have all this stuff in my head that I'm thinking about, and if I keep typing it, I'll be typing all night. I'd rather save my fingers for the piano. So, good night!

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

sha lala la la lala....

I have green eyes. They're a nice color, a lot like my mom's but darker in color. Some people have called them hazel, which I think sounds very descriptive but isn't really accurate. The thing I like most about my eyes are that underneath the green, there are little flecks of brown. In the right light, my eyes even seem completely brown, which I think is really cool. I even got some contacts that I wear sometimes that change my eyes brown, and it looks natural, you can't really tell that I'm wearing the contacts. Sure, I love my green eyes. I think they're the best part of me. But I like it when I have brown eyes, too.

We're going to eat at Applebee's now. Mmmmm, food.

Thursday, September 02, 2004

it's been a hard day

We're moved in. Sort of. There's still some stuff left at our old place that needs to be gathered up, and the place needs to be cleaned, and all the stuff in our new place is in disarray, you can't find anything... but we're done for tonight. I am so, so tired. I must have gone up and down those stairs about a million times, lugging boxes and bags and all kinds of junk. Now all I want to do is sleep. No, first eat. And drink. Then sleep. Then work tomorrow, then back to the unpacking. *sigh* Wish me luck!

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

eeek!!

Oh.

No.

I had this sudden, shocking realization today. Well, yesterday. But I'm still reeling from it even now. And all I can think is "Oh..... no"

What is the problem, you might ask? I'll tell you what the problem is. You want to know why I'll tell you what my problem is? Do you? I'm asking you if you want to know what my problem is, do you want to hear it or not? I'll tell you what my problem is. Do you want to know... WHY... I am telling you what my PROBLEM IS????!!!!!! My PROBLEM is that I'm freakin' MOVING IN TWO DAYS and I don't have ANYTHING PACKED YET!!!!!!!

aaaaaaghhhh, the agony....

Thursday, August 19, 2004

???

I have no idea why this thing isnt working. It's a punishment. Really. It is.

huh?

I don't know what happened with that last entry. It kept on acting funny, and when I finally made it save what I had written, it saved it four times. Wierd.

Work

The last hour of work. It goes by sooooo slowly. I can't wait till five, because I'm going to farmers with Myles :) and I'm looking forward to it. I heard that they're showing the men's finals in sabre tonight at six, I need to find out on which channel. Myles has been working on his Freevo program, maybe he can test it out! Yeah that would be fun. I love where I work, its cool that I can sit here and blog for a few minutes without getting into trouble. But everyone knows I do my share of work, I'm definitely not a slacker. I just wish I had more to do right now....

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Sean needs to re-add comments

People don't like trackback. Sean complains about people not commenting on his blog in this entry. If he added the ability to comment on his blog again more people would comment. That's all I have to say.

Except for Trackback is cool, but commenting is easier.

I'm a brat!!

I was feeling just a little depressed today. I was trying my best to cheer up, but it kept coming back. But I feel better now, 'cuz I'm a brat.

Muahahaaaaaa!!!!!

Monday, August 16, 2004

Lonely
But I'm not alone, he is
here, near me.
Out of the shadows
An apparition of fear.
He says nothing. His silence
Holds my voice; his gaze
Keeps my eyes.

Darkness
But I can see; I see him
Reaching for me.
He caresses my foot, my leg
My thigh is tense beneath his hand.
I pull away. Desperation
Can not match insistence. My body
Trembles under him.

Sound
That no one hears.
My voice is all that escapes
His fingers on my lips.
My fear, my pain
Fills the air; my soul
Dies
As he takes me.

Saturday, August 14, 2004

please just let me sleep

I have been writing way too many blog entries when I should be sleeping. I can't sleep tonight. Again. This is very frustrating. And I have all kinds of stuff I need to do tomorrow. First thing in the morning I have to go sing with the chorale. We have to leave by 7:30 so we can be there by 8 for sound check. Then lunch with my parents, then I need to come back to SLO and clean the office. Then Risk Night with my friends. Then sleep (hopefully). Then another jam-packed day.

Oh I'm so tired.

So this weekend I went with Myles down to Sherman Oaks to visit his grandparents. That was a lot of fun. We left yesterday after work and just barely made it through the Friday night traffic to dinner. Dinner was so. good. It was at this really fancy, exclusive restaraunt/club for filmmakers and people in the film industry. You can only get a reservation if you are a member in the club, or if a member in the club sets you up. It was really neat. After dinner there was a magic show that was very entertaining. I really enjoyed myself. I've never been to a restaraunt like that, where you have your name on "the list" and have to follow a dress code and all that. But it was really fun. Then today we went to the Getty Museum and looked at all the paintings and sculptures and things. I was just as impressed at the building as I was at the works of art they had inside. Very cool. And after that we went swimming, since it was very hot. Myles is pleased as punch, because I didn't have a swimsuit with me, and I've been saying all summer that I should buy a new one anyway, so we went out and I bought a new one. That may not seem like such a big deal, if it werent for the fact that I had to buy a bikini. I don't wear bikinis. EVER. But he talked me into buying one. I hope you're happy Myles. You accomplished the impossible. I always swore I'd never wear anything so skimpy out in public. But now I have to, I don't want to spend the money on another one. Oh well....

So that's been my weekend. We drove home and I got to sleep at a pretty decent hour, but not really that early. And now, here I am at 4 in the morning and I'm wide awake. This really needs to end. I'm ranking it at about a 10.5 on my I-Would-Be-Perfectly-Happy-If-This-Never-Happened-Again-o-Meter, right up there with pap smears and these darn leg cramps I keep getting all the time.

But I've spent time blogging anyway. I'm gonna try to sleep again now.

Goodnight.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Dang it

Dang it!!!!!!!!


*&*^*)&^!!!!!!!


I just spent the last hour writing this big huge-ol' long entry and I hit some stupid button or other on the keyboard and it erased EVERYTHING.

AAAAgh that is so frustrating

Forget it, I'm not writing that all over again. RRRghghghghhhhhhhh

Thursday, August 05, 2004

Good Morning!

So it's been a little while, lots of stuff happened since my last entry. So here's a quick little blog-update of what's been going on in Kim's world-

First, and most importantly, I have officially been dating Myles for over a year now. Our anniversary was on a Saturday (yay!) and we had an awesome time. I'm not going to go into huge detail, because I think Myles has already blogged about it so everyone who reads this knows already anyway, but I will say that my favorite part was the pictures. True, I am camera-shy and I was pretty nervous most of the time. Especially when it was time for me to have my picture taken alone. Let me tell you, that's a horrible thing for a camea-shy person, to have a professional photographer snapping picture after picture after picture and making small talk as if nothing's happening. Very very unnerving. Almost every picture she took of me showed how nervous I was. But we got one good one anyway, and that's all we wanted. There's also a picture of Myles that I think is perfect, and some of us that look very sweet. It's a very romantic thing, having a portrait taken with someone you love. I'm glad we did it.

On the work/school front, the opposition has begun. My co-workers asked me when I was going back to class, and I told them I've decided not to go this semester, and let me tell you it wasn't good. They're practically threatening me to make me go back to school. Even my boss said that I "have to take at least one class, two would be better". I'm trying not to make too big a deal out of it, so I haven't said much. But I still think that I need the break. I'm learning a lot at work right now that I think is better than courses for me. My coworkers don't think so . I've realized in talking with them that they don't think much of their job, or what they do. The office manager doesn't have a college degree, and she's disappointed with herself because of that. She seems to think that she would be doing so much better, or making so much more money than she is right now if she had gone to college. I don't really understand that, because I think she's got a great job. She's the manager for crying out loud. I would love to have her job. There's also this attitude that I run into so often that you have to have The Degree. That you're a nobody if you don't have The Degree. That you're uneducated, doomed to be an underling... Well I don't know. As far as school and work go, I'm going to stick to the path I've chosen. I'm going to continue to enjoy this break I'm taking, and hopefully do even better at work. I'm still hoping to get that apprenticeship. It's just a waiting game right now.

I have one month left at my current place of residence. In September my roomies and I are moving into a different apartment over by the fire station. I'm pretty excited about it, except that I'm going to miss the place we've been in. It's about twice the size of the place we're going to, and much nicer. But it's also 1800 a month if we stay. Forget it! I'll take the tiny but affordable apartment, thank you. I'm starting to plan in my mind all the things we need to get done this month- the phone, internet, PG&E, etc... plus all the packing we're going to have to do. I think I'd like to get a small u-haul , even though it's not very far. The fewer trips we make, the better. And I've seen that you can get one for moves in-town for only 20 bucks. Nice. So maybe we'll do that. I'm gonna run it by the girls first, but I think it's a good idea. I'm probably also going to break down and start paying for an internet connection. I've missed not being able to chat or surf whenever I want to. Ah well. I hope I'm going to be able to pay for everything I need to pay for. The past two months have been difficult for me financially. I don't make that much as a receptionist, and I have a lot of stuff I'm paying for. True, none of them are costing me that much by themselves, but they add up. My car, insurance, gas, health insurance, phone, food, rent.... Yeah it's all adding up. And I'm being about as frugal as I can be. I think it's just too soon yet to see how my finances balance out. I'll be able to do it. I just need time.

So let's see... boyfriend, work, school, money.... yeah, I've covered pretty much everything that's been on my mind lately. That means the only thing I have left to talk about is the choir. Tuesday night we sang for the very first time at the Fair! It was awesome!!! And the best part was, that one of the altos who had a solo couldn't make it, so my dad asked me to cover for her. Can you imagine? My very first solo ever was at the Mid State Fair! So much for starting out with something easy and not-intimidating. It was difficult because it wasn't the solo I've been practicing for the last 6 weeks, and I only got one week's notice that I would be singing. So that was a little nerve-racking. But I did allright. It wasn't a very long solo, and I knew it pretty well already. I thought my voice sounded a little bit weak, but from what people are telling me, it didn't come through. Which is good. I still have my heart set on that other solo I like so much. It was hard to stand in the choir and listen to someone else singing it. But I'm hopeful that I'll get a chance someday. Hopefully I've proven now that I really am soloist material, and my dad will consider me more seriously for the bigger ones. I think that he'll be using the song I like in the next easter program, if he does i'm going to ask him to audition me again. But that's not until next year. I've got plenty of time to keep practicing.

So that's it. Myles tells me I have internet conection again, so I can finally post this and go have some breakfast. I'm soooooo hungry. mmmmmmm, food....

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

We interrupt this program....

I figured there wasn't much sense in finishing that last entry. I was at work when I started it, and then after I was interrupted I never really got around to finishing it. I thought that I would finish it now, but I'm in a completely different state of mind and I don't think I can express now what I was feeling then. I was in a really strange mood that day, which is hard to describe now. Basically I had been thinking about my life- where I had been in life, where I was, and where I wanted to go. I think that I am happier now than I was a year or two before, but it's a different kind of happiness. Life is more complicated now. And while I do have a lot more on my mind, a lot more that I worry about, etc., I still have a kind of satisfaction that I never had before. I don't feel that deadness inside anymore. I guess that I really have been depressed for the last few years. People kept telling me I was, and suggesting that I see someone about it, but I never wanted to. I didn't care enough. I resented them for even suggesting it, and distanced myself from them. Which made it even worse. I was afraid of everything, and I kept my emotions and my true personality locked far far away from everyone around me. I hated how good I was getting at putting on my emotional mask. I felt like I was playing a role, and I did it for so long that I couldn't distinguish between the person I was and the person I was portraying to the world. But now I'm learning to let go a little bit. I'm learning about who I am, and that it's ok to let other people see that person. It certainly hasn't been easy. I don't think I can describe how frightening it's been, or how difficult. But I'm beginning to notice now that I feel different inside. I feel like the things I was trying to describe in that last entry, like the sun is rising after darkness. It's a very difficult feeling to put into words.

I think that if I really have been depressed the past few years, then this new feeling I have is the depression evaporating away. I know that I still have a long way to go, but this is the beginning. And for the first time in my life, I'm not afraid of that. That's a big thing for me; not being afraid. I'm starting to think about what I want my life to be like, rather than what I think it should be, or comparing myself to my peers and this invisilble, unspoken standard of how a successful life should be. That standard has caused me a lot of grief for years now. It started in high school. The expectation, the pressure I felt from the adults around me that I should get good grades, get into a good school, get a good education, get a good job, have a career, make lots of money so I can support a family, send my own kids off to school, and start the cycle all over again. This timeline of how life is supposed to go. You go to school for X number of years, then start working, get yourself established... The all-important, all-consuming goal of getting a Good Education. For a long time, I believed it. I had perfect grades, honors in every class, graduated high school at 16. I still remember how they made such a fuss over me as I won awards, had my name on academic acheivement lists, everyone treated me like I was some kind of prodigy. Then they patted me on the back and sent me off to college with this idea that I was going to go places, do big things, that I was somehow ahead of the game. What game? Are we keeping score of who takes what classes and gets what degree when? Why is it that everyone is always asking me, "so, where do you go to school? What's your major? Where are you headed academically? What do you plan to do with your life?" Where did this idea come from that college is preparing you for your future, that somehow your life doesn't begin until after you graduate? The last time I checked, I was living NOW. Right here. Today. I already am living my life, and I don't need a degree to do it. Yes, I would like to have one someday, but I don't think now is the right time. I've recognized this expectation in myself, this unconscious standard that I hold myself to- that's why I've struggled so much with the thought that school isn't for me right now. It felt like I was breaking a law, that I'm some sort of a failure because I'm not pouring my life into getting The Degree. But I'm starting to allow myself to be at peace with this decision I'm making. I know that its what's right for me right now. And if that doesn't line up with society's standards, I don't care.

Ok, so that was a big 'ol long speech, huh? I wonder if anyone's gonna read it and think I've gone crazy. Maybe. I don't know. But it's what's on my mind today. I've got a final tomorrow morning and I've been wrestling with myself trying to decide if I should sign up for classes next quarter. I don't think I will. It's gonna be different, but I'm going to try it. It will be a relief to just be living my life again.

Lots of stuff has happened besides just my deep thinking and communing with my deeper emotions. But I'll leave that for another entry. For now, we will return you to your regularly scheduled programming....

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Yard!

So Kim and I have been working on that yard a lot and it's starting to look really good. Pulling weeds, trimming flowers, moving plants, and raking leaves. I also went out and bought Tiki torches to light up the yard at night, it's going to look really good back there really soon. Kim and I are also working on getting the plants we bought put in back there. It's a slow process.

Well that's all. I started moving in this morning, it's kind of exciting, but it's going to be a lot of work, that's for sure. I hate moving.

Monday, July 19, 2004

The Sun Rising

All my recent entries have been pretty dark and depressed. I was just looking them over and frowning at them. It's pretty much what I've been doing the past week or two, I've been reflecting. I've reflected on my life, and the changes I've been going through. So many things have happened to me, I almost can't believe it. I've changed so much, too. These past days as I've looked back at myself a year ago- what I was like and how my life was- I've been flooded with memories. Don't get me wrong, life wasn't horrible. I had many many good things that happened to me, and lots of good feelings but there was a lot of sadness, too. Loneliness. The kind of dreary feeling you get on those cold, misty mornings in early spring when everything is all washed out from an overly-long winter. You know in your head that it can't last forever, but you feel in your heart that there won't be any end to it, that winter's cold and dark will last forever and you'll never feel the sun again. I've been looking back and remembering that feeling. It was with me all the time, but now I'm realizing that it isn't there anymore. Yeah, sure, sometimes I'm sad about things, or cranky, or just plain its-that-time-of-the-month moody. But I never really knew that I was depressed until it began to lift. It's like the sun rising over the clouds. It's the sudden moment of clarity you feel as you find the answer to a difficult problem or puzzle. It's waking up from uncomfortable dreams and realizing that its ok, you're safe.


I gotta get back to work. Hold that thought, I'll finish it later....

Sunday, July 18, 2004

Look to the left

I thought it was funny the jump in 2003 under my archives. You should look. You might find it funny too.

The day After

Well yesterday turned out to be a smashing success. Everything worked out perfectly as far as timing. Kim and I got some plants at the Nursery. We also ended up getting our pictures taken. So in about 3 weeks we should have some professional portraits of the two of us that will look really good. I'm way excited and so is Kim.

I, Robot turned out to be really good. I was impressed. I've always been a fan of Will Smith and this wasn't a dissappointment. Of course, Asimov's story was great to begin, so it would have taken a lot to ruin that. But I definitely give it a 4 out 5.

Oh, and dinner, very good. Very expensive, but very good. The total bill ended up being about 85 bucks. Luckily, Kim's mom gave her a $50 gift card so it made that affordable. We had Creme Brulee at the end and it was, oh, so good.

Ok that's all for now. More on the yard later.

Saturday, July 17, 2004

Happy Anniversary

Well today is Kim's and mine's first real anniversary. Today has been 1 year that we are dating and I never imagined a year ago how much in love with her I would be today. She's everything to me.

I've got planned a fun-filled day today of going to a Nursery, then going and getting portraits, then we're going to dinner at McPhee's in Templteton, then to see I, Robot, and finally making visit to "our spot." It's going to be a wonderful day. Maybe I'll blog again tomorrow, but just thought that I should let you all know, all 3 of you that is, what I'm doing today :).

Friday, July 16, 2004

memories

memories are everywhere. I feel them, I see them, I hear them. What do I do now, that I have everything I ever hoped for? I remember back in the time before I was rich, when I was poor and had no hope for a better future. I didn't expect such wonderful things to happen to me then. I can hardly beleive it even now. Every day is better than the next. But I still remember.

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

>_

To go to school...

or NOT to go to school....

That is the question.

Whether 'tis better for my transcript to SUFFER the pains and arrows of boring classes,

Or to TAKE ARMS and join the unending work force in ceaseless toil- and in so doing, make money?

Monday, July 12, 2004

the agony and the.... agony

yeah my boss told me to go home today. She didn't want to catch the stomach flu, which I was showing symptoms of catching. I don't blame her. I didnt mean to catch it, I think it got me. But however it happened, I'm sick. I feel so awful its not even funny. I'm wavering between trying to hold it down and just wanting to get it over and done with. I hate nausea. Its just plain gross, and makes you feel more gross the worse it gets. Every single little thing I smell makes me feel worse, too. Even my watered-down apple juice. Man, this sucks. You know what the worst part about it is, besides the physical discomfort, is that I have to miss choir practice tonight. I am so annoyed with that it's beyond words. See, remember that solo I've been working so hard at the past few weeks? Tonight was my night to take a crack at it. I've been preparing for this daily for the past several weeks, and now on the night that I finally get the chance I've been hoping for, I have the stomach flu.

Just the thought of it makes me sick.

No wait....

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

sleepless in slo

Yeah, I can't sleep. For a few nights in a row now, I've been waking up at 4-5 or so and I haven't been able to go back to sleep. I toss and turn and feel miserable. I don't know why. My mind has been really active lately. I'm thinking a lot about where I'm going in life. For a long time now I've been struggling with the question of "what to do" with my life. Mostly for school, of course. What classes do I take, which major do I want, what degree do I shoot for? The problem is that I've never really been that motivated in school. I know I can do a whole lot better than I do. I'm certainly smart enough. I just don' 'ave eh gumption. I really honestly don't see school helping me that much. There are so many other things that are important in my life that I give my time and attention to. And now I think I might have finally found the career path I want to take, and school isn't a part of that. The possibility is presesnting itself at work that I might be trained as an optician. That's something that you traditionally learn on the job, there are probably only a handful of school programs in the entire country. After apprenticing for two years, you are eligible to sit for the national boards and receive a licence. All without a college degree. Its a job that I think I would really enjoy. It certainly doesn't bring home six figures a year, but I'd be able to get along quite nicely. So I sit up at night and think about that. I know that I've been fed since high school the idea that I should go to college and I should get a degree. But if my life and career are going down a path that doesn't require that, then why should I? I feel almost like I'm blaspheming by saying that. My old high school teacher must be getting a cold chill right now. But that's the truth. Right now school is an extra in my life. It's draining my time, energy, and money. Sure, its an education, but I've never had problems educating myself in other ways. I love reading and trying new hobbies. So its not like if I leave school I'll fall into intellectual stagnation. *sigh* I think I'll go back to bed now, I'm done thinking about this for now. Besides, I've got a 7:30 class tomorrow.

>_

Monday, July 05, 2004

happy 4th!

So yesterday was the 4th of July. Yay! I had a lot of fun, more than last year. Of course I had Myles with me this year, so it was bound to be great no matter what. ;) I started the day out like I do every year by going to the Templeton parade with my family. This year there was a lot of stuff going on in the park, and the fire department was putting on a pancake breakfast, which was gooood. Mmmmm. Pancakes. So we found a shady spot and watched the parade go by for a while. It was the same as every year, fire trucks and classic cars and little kids riding by on bikes. I liked the equestrian units, its too bad there weren't more of them. I wish I could ride in a parade. I wish I rode my horses more period. But it was pretty good. After that was the classic family barbecue, complete with watermelon, corn on the cob, and mom's homemade potato salad. Oh gosh, you haven't lived until you've tried my mom's potato salad. Its so good. Let's see, then there was the watching of old kung-fu movies with my dad, and after that we went to Morro Bay and set up a bonfire so we could watch the fireworks. Blanketss, smores, sparklers, the whole bit. I love the 4th.

So what else. I don't think I've mentioned before that I've started a new vocal training program. I am trying so hard to get this one particular solo in our choir, but I don't know if my dad will ever give it to me, wether I earned it or not. See, I don't think that the other choir members will accept his decision if he decides I'm the best person to sing the solo, they'll just think that he's giving his daughter special treatment. Which he wouldn't be. I've been practicing so hard its not even funny. I sing almost every day, and I've been using this new program to help me expand my range. I think it's helping, too. So we'll see. I have a feeling he's going to ask me to sing it during practice tonight, he's asked all the other people who tried out to sing again except for me. I intend on blowing them all away. I want to do really really well, so everyone will see that I'm working really hard to improve on this. So wish me luck!

Myles wants his computer back, so I guess I'm done blogging.

Thursday, July 01, 2004

Kim's Secret List

I used to have this list in my head of things that I wasn't allowed to do. That list was like the code by which I lived my life. I always thought it was a good thing, until recently. It used to be good because it kept me in line. My secret list gave me boundaries and I liked that. I like knowing the way things are supposed to be. But lately I've found myself throwing most of my secret list out the window. Some of it was dropped a long time ago, like "never let your boyfriend sweettalk you" (yeah right) and others I've given up more recently, like "always knock and wait for permission before you enter someone's personal house/apartment/room/space". I've had some people tell me I should just throw my list out the window completely. Maybe, I don't know. There's still some good stuff on it, though. Like "don't take cash to a department store, you'll end up spending it", or "don't ever stop saying I love you" or "never pet a burning dog". Wait. No, I don't think that last one's mine, it must belong to Myles. ;)

How can you tell the difference between wanting something because you think that's how it should be, and wanting something because you really want it? I don't think I can tell the difference. Or maybe I can and I just don't want to. I'm so conflicted. I'll have to start writing poetry and reading it in a monotone voice at street fairs. Maybe they'll make a documentary of my life, and sit there discussing the ways I expressed my anguished soul in my greatest works. I'm a visionary, you know. Ahead of my time. I'll win awards and prizes and have people stopping me on the street so they can tell me how moved they are by my poems. And long after I'm dead I will live on in my words, which will be discussed by scholars, philosophers, and deep thinkers, who will all nod their heads and act like they knew what the &$%@ I was talking about, never admitting that they don't have any more of a clue than I do myself. Yeah, I think I'll do that.

mmmm.... food.

I tried this recipe the other day, it was pretty good. Although I'd probably recommend sweetening the fruit if you make this, mine was pretty tart. I also used apricots instead of nectarines.

4 black plums, halved,pitted,cut in wedges
3 ripe nectarines, halved,pitted,cut in wedges
1/2 cup brown sugar, packed
1/3 cup flour
1/4 cup margarine
3/4 cup uncooked oats
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

1. Lightly grease a shallow 2 quart baking dish.
2. Mix plums and nectarines, spread in dish.
3. Mix sugar and flour, cut in margarine with pastry blender.
4. Stir in oats.
5. Sprinkle mixture evenly over fruit.
6. Dust with cinnamon.
7. Bake at 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes.
8. Serve warm.

It's very good with ice cream!!

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

forbidden subjects

I really haven't been blogging as much as I'd like to the last few weeks. It's not that I'm really that busy, because I have the time to do it. I think its a combination of not wanting to find the time, and also that I can't think of what to say. Ok, not really. I can think of plenty of things to discuss, but I feel like they're too personal to say here. I was talking about that earlier this evening with my roommate. What kinds of things are too personal to mention in a public place like a blog, and what things are ok? I don't know. Right now I'm too tired to think about it. I'm going to bed.

Thursday, June 17, 2004

more nutshells

Yeah so my last entry wasnt very informative, was it? Not that anyone's reading it who really cares. I figure all the people who read this already know me anyway and don't need regular updates. Oh well. The only times I've had this whole week that I was really sitting down at a computer and felt like blogging have been the 10-15 minutes or so of time that I have during my lunch break after I'm done eating and before I go back to work. Like right now. I have 8 minutes to try and blog all the things I want to say. Don't think that's happening today. *shrug* Oh well. At least in a roundabout way I've now vented about not having enough time. That's a start.

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

things in a nutshell

Ok. First things first. I've moved, I've finished one semester and started another, I'm working three-quarter time every week plus weekends, and somehow I'm managing to maintain a good social life, home life, and all around personal life. Not to mention family. And my other hobbies which have kind of been put on hold, like piano. And singing. But right now I don't have the time to explain any of that. I gotta get to work.

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Happy Birthday to Me

Happy birthday to me!

So we took Sean out tonight. He impressed me with his drinking abilities. After probably 8-10 drinks he was still able to chug a guinness. Good man roommate.

Get together at my place early evening tonight, to celebrate my birthday. Nothing big, just sit and chat. Not that anyone reads my blog anymore because I update so infrequently.

Night.

Awesome Roommates!!

So I have the awesomest roommates and friends ever. Yesterday, I opened a couple of my birthday gifts a little early. It turns out that they all sprung and got me a Weber grill. This thing is gorgeous. It has 22.5 inches of grill space....AROUND! (edit: It's 22.5'' across 72.68'' around.)

In other news, Sean, Lyle, and I will be leaving friday around 4 O'clock to start heading to Vegas. We will be staying at the Boardwalk Hotel and Casino. We are going to see a show called Second City and of course while we're there we'll see The Star Trek Experience 4-D. Looks like it's going to be a fun weekend.

Oh and my birthday is tomorrow.

Friday, June 04, 2004

SLO town

I'm starting to feel a little better about living in SLO now. It's been, what 5 days? It feels like forever. For some reason I've been dead tired, even after a full night's sleep. Myles made me take some benedryl last night to force me to sleep. It really helped, but I don't want to have to take pills to get my rest. I've just got to give it time, I guess. I miss my old home of course. I miss my family and my barn. I miss my horses and my puppies. Today at work a patient came in and had the cutest little puppy with her, it made me kind of lonely for my dogs. And I worry about the horses. I've been taking care of my horses every day for 8 years, and this is the first time I've lived so far away that I couldn't feed them each morning and check on them at night. I miss that. But now I have new things to look forward to. Like Myles. Tonight we're going to see Harry Potter. I must admit I'm looking forward to it. Not as much as I did for the Lord of the Rings, of course, but I still have a fairly healthy level of anticipation. I always swore I'd never watch those movies. You can thank Myles for being the only person patient (or stubborn) enough to keep bugging me until I did. ;) So that should be fun. I'm hoping it will cheer me up a little bit. If it doesnt, well I'll just have to think of something else....

Thursday, June 03, 2004

Finally!

My grades came in!! yay!!!!

I got a C!! yay!!! let's eat cake!!!

Monday, May 31, 2004

My New Place

I moved in this weekend. Gosh I'm tired. But it looks really good, I've got a lot of stuff put away already. It doesn't really feel like home yet, but its very comfortable. Maybe now I can start sleeping soundly at night again. I don't want to stress anymore.

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

grades

So how long does it take to post grades? I mean honestly!

Monday, May 17, 2004

money money money

So if I have X amount of dollars in my bank account, and have to make my security deposit Y and first month's rent Z, while still at the same time make utility payments A and B while still having enough money left over to make a second security deposit C, and X does not equal Y + Z + A + B + C, but I am getting paid this week with my salary Q, is X + Q greater than the sum of Y, Z, A, B, and C?

Sunday, May 16, 2004

Narcolepsy

yeah, so now I'm narcoleptic. I'll show you narcolepsy. #@!% you all

Saturday, May 15, 2004

Choir Concert

Tonight I went to Lyle's choir concert. It was most excellent. A quartet of professional singers backed up by a full orchestra and a 130 person choir. The piece was Verdi's "Requiem". That is really how music is supposed to sound. Hearing a full array of man's ability to create music was most excellent. That's all I really have to say about that right now though.

Thursday, May 13, 2004

You know....

I don't think I ever told everyone that I got the job here at Murray Station. Starting on July 1st, I am the new Resident Manager of Murray Station Apartments. This gets me 850 dollars off of rent in Stephanie's old 2 bedroom apartment. That is really nice, because she has a HUGE backyard. I'm very excited. This also means that I'm not going to be living in a house next year. More good news however, is that Sean and Paul decided they would take the other room and split the 550 that I would otherwise have to pay to get the apartment I want. So I get my roomates back next year too. I was actually really worried that what was going to happen is that I was going to get the job and then they were going to get a house and I wouldn't have roomates. I was not looking forward to that. They kind of grow on you. In a good way. I think.

It's already getting close to Kim and Mine's 10 month anniversary. Time is really flying by fast. Speaking of Kim. She is going to be moving in to her new place at the end of the month. They found a really nice condo for a really good price just down the street from Murray. So it's really cool. She's going to be so much happier living here in SLO. I love her. Bye.

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

Fruit is good

Sometimes I think that I'm the only person around here who likes fresh food. Like fruit. Fruit is good. Strawberries expecially. And fresh juicy pears. Mmmmmm....

Excuse me while I go eat some more fruit....

Ok, Myles likes fruit too. So I guess its okay.

By the way, I have a new place to live!! Yay!!! we signed the lease this weekend. Let's eat some fruit to celebrate!

Monday, May 10, 2004

Vocabulary lesson

Jig n.

1. Any of various lively dances in triple time.
2. To dance or play a jig.
3. To move or bob up and down jerkily and rapidly.
4. A joke or trick.

I said earlier that Squirrelpower was "jigging down the road". Above are the dictionary's definitions, most of which do get across the general idea I was trying to convey. Mostly I was using the word in reference to what horses do when they don't want to walk quietly down the trail, and instead jump and prance every which way except the one that you want them to go. Horse people call this annoying behavior "jigging".

Class dismissed.

Friday, May 07, 2004

Wildflower

Well I went to Wildflower, and surprisingly it was a lot more fun that I was anticipating it was going to be. It was nice to be outdoors again. I haven't done anything like that in a really long time. It was so cool I got what is called beach city parking and that means that I get to park right over near where we were camping so I could sleep in my car if I wanted to! Which I did. I had a lot of wine on Sat after cooking and Chris Smith once again told me that I'm not allowed to drink. I don't know what his problem is, everyone else thought I was funny. I don't like it that certain people have a problem with me when I'm drunk. Oh well. Ce la vie. (or something like that).


On another topic my roomate has convinced me to go to Las Vegas with him for our birthdays. Lyle is going with us too. It should be a lot of fun, even though it's a lot more money than I wanted to spend. I really wanted to spend that money on some new fencing equipment, but maybe I can hint at that for my birthday.... That would be good. Ok that's all for now. bye.

Thursday, May 06, 2004

The dreaded manual... dum dum dum....

As if I hadn't been through enough lately, my car had a flat tire this morning. Wonderful. So I took my first solo flight in Squirrelpower, Myles' Metro. I don't think that car likes me... though it might have something to do with the fact that I don't really know how to drive a manual transmission... yeah that might have something to do with it. So I actually managed to drive all the way to SLO and not kill myself. Yay! But I am going to have to figure out how to make the car stop jigging down the road like it was doing this morning... yeah...

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

please no more...

I just finished my anatomy exam, the last one before the final. What a grueling test. I have no idea how I did, but I think I passed... maybe... I hope... yeah.

I told myself when I started this semester that I wasnt going to do what I always do, which is mainly goof off and not study. See, I have this ability to go to class and just do the work in class, not study or review, and still walk in to an exam and pass the test. I can't decide if it's a blessing or a curse, because I get moderate grades, passing grades, but I know it's not my best. I know that if I actually gave school a little bit of effort I could do really really well. But I don't try, because I know that even if I don't study I can still get by. But its mediocre. I don't like that. And yet I still keep doing what I did this whole past month, which is NOT trying my best. I just barely did the bare minimum of required work, and I could have done so much better. Oh well. It's almost over now. I don't ever want to take this class again. I want to take something nice and easy this summer. Like maybe an art or music class. If I can make it go along with my work schedule, that would be nice. Something light, something enjoyable. *sigh* I'm so tired.

On the non-school side of things, I think we might have found a place to live this summer. Yay! A condo for 1000 per month, all utilities paid. Sweet. I am so sick and tired of apartment shopping you have no idea. Its worse than clothes. But this one's really nice, and it's in a safe neighborhood, which is important to me. I will have to get used to that darn train going by each night, though... but I think I can deal with it. It will be nice to not have to drive the grade 6 times a week. Real nice. I am so exhausted today, I really should have stayed the night in SLO last night, but it just couldn't happen. So I drove home, lay unconscious on my bed for a few hours, and then had to get up early and drive another 30 minutes so I could be at work on time. That's a whole hour I spent driving that I could have been sleeping. I know that sounds whiny, I don't really want to complain. I have a great place where I'm living now in Templeton. I'm just so tired. I spend way too much time driving late at night feeling completely exhausted. I'm scared that I'm going to get into an accident one of these days. I don't want that. So I'll try living in SLO. If it doesn't work out, or I'm still not happy, I'll deal with that as the need arises.

So there's the scoop on the major happenings of my life. Further updates to follow as new information becomes available...

Monday, May 03, 2004

denial

Just because I am blogging a lot it doesn't mean I am really that into it. I'm still not enjoying this. I'm fighting this tooth and nail. Really, I am. Really.

Friday, April 30, 2004

pro-crassed-in-nation

Don't you just love it when you're supposed to be doing something and you manage to find something else to do instead? I seem to be rather good at this. I should be studying for my next oral, (which by the way is scheduled tomorrow morning at 10:45), but instead I'm blogging. hehe. I know someone else who likes to procrastinate... not that I'd name names, though. *evil laugh*

Ok, ok

Time to get with it, Kim.

Now go study, then you can fool around on the computer.

(yeah right)


:)

Thursday, April 29, 2004

I hate this class

So I just took that oral. Well sort of. I went to the instructor and asked if she had time, and she said no, because she was just ending her time on duty. She pointed to the instructor taking over for her and told me to ask him. So I went up to him and asked if he'd have time to give me my oral before the next one scheduled in 15 minutes, and he said yes. So I waited 10 minutes while he finished chatting with the student he had been talking to, then while he made some small talk with the instructor leaving, and then sat down with him. The way an anatomy oral is supposed to work around here is you get 10 points for finishing the lab work, then you can earn up to 10 more points by answering questions from the instructor. 19-20 is an A, 18 is a B, 17 a C, etc. Anything below 15 is considered a fail. Well I sat down with this instructor, he looked over my book and gave me 10 points for my work, and then said "ok, we're done". I looked at him a little confused and he told me that he was giving me 10 points. I asked if he was going to do the rest of the oral and he said, "no, I don't have time. You get 10 points." As I was sitting back down at my lab station I heard him call out, "Anyone who needs to do an oral, now's the time!".

Jerk.

At least I know that my lacrimal gland is working.

School... yeah.

Yeah I'm at school right now. I'm hoping I can sneak myself into the time slot between the 7:00 oral that's being given right now and the next one which is scheduled at 7:30. I don't know if I'll make it, depends on how long this professor chats with the poor guy she's quizzing... yeah... I really don't like school...

Monday, April 26, 2004

hmmm, what else....

I need to figure out how to blog. I'm sitting here thinking about what I want to blog, but nothing much comes to mind. Mary told me that blogs are good for ranting, so lets see.... what can I rant about? Um... I had to wake up at 7 today, but that's not really that bad, I usually get up that early. But I was really really tired after a trip to Davis this weekend and I would have liked another hour or two. So I woke up early and dragged myself out of bed and it was freezing cold in my room. I guess that's what I get for leaving every window in the house wide open. Then on my way to work I was delayed for almost 30 minutes because some little red sports car decided to crash itself at the base of the grade. And of course every car that went by had to stop and gawk at it... why do people have such a fascination with mangled vehicles? Its a wrecked car, people. Just keep driving. Then there was the school bus and the trash truck trying to set the world record for all-time slowest vehicle still in motion. Yeah, I barely made it to work on time. And all this was before breakfast! Wow, what a great start.

Now I'm thinking it might be good to do some non-ranting, just to keep things even....

Today at work I managed to not fall out of my chair. Woo Hoo!!! If you're wondering about how I managed to fall out of my chair the first time, I'm not telling you. You already know too much. Just saying this much is a direct violation of Kim's Shyness Rule #1- never give people reason to make you embarrased. And that's why I'm NOT telling you what the other rules are- its too embarrasing. So what else can not rant about... hmm.... I finally made peace with my credit card! yay! I am very happy about that. I hate being in debt, and there's just something about that zero down at the end of your statement that is so satisfying. Anyone who knows me probably knows that I am kind of strange with my money, I like spending it when I think I'm spending on something important, otherwise I'm a miser. And I hate shopping. I absolutely cannot stand shopping. Department stores should be banned from existence. I can think of very few things I like less than going SHOPPING for CLOTHES. ugh. Nothing ever fits and its so expensive and it all falls apart a week after you buy it. Then it fades in the wash and shrinks in the dry and you're needing to go out and buy MORE. I shudder at the thought. Ok, I think I'm ranting again. But I won't stop. You can just call me butter (as Myles would say), cuz' I'm on a roll. ;)

Ok, what else. A little more about me, since you've already had a glimpse at the wierder side of Kim. I go to school but not because I expect it to get me a career, I enjoy my work, but it doesn't define me, and I like having credit cards but don't like to use them. I eat health food because I like it, not because I'm dieting. I like to read, but hate to write. I like science fiction and Tolkien. I like helping other people out, but don't like to ask for help myself. I want a family but I'm not sure I want kids. I love smoothies and will pay a lot more than most people would for a good one. And yes, Myles, I like nuts in my bananna bread. Probably the most amazing one is that I'm really shy and I hate letting people know lots of personal stuff about me, yet here I am learning to blog. Go figure. So that's all for now, folks. If I actually allow this entry to exist longer than a few minutes it will be the next great wonder of the world.