Tuesday, August 31, 2004




I had this sudden, shocking realization today. Well, yesterday. But I'm still reeling from it even now. And all I can think is "Oh..... no"

What is the problem, you might ask? I'll tell you what the problem is. You want to know why I'll tell you what my problem is? Do you? I'm asking you if you want to know what my problem is, do you want to hear it or not? I'll tell you what my problem is. Do you want to know... WHY... I am telling you what my PROBLEM IS????!!!!!! My PROBLEM is that I'm freakin' MOVING IN TWO DAYS and I don't have ANYTHING PACKED YET!!!!!!!

aaaaaaghhhh, the agony....

Thursday, August 19, 2004


I have no idea why this thing isnt working. It's a punishment. Really. It is.


I don't know what happened with that last entry. It kept on acting funny, and when I finally made it save what I had written, it saved it four times. Wierd.


The last hour of work. It goes by sooooo slowly. I can't wait till five, because I'm going to farmers with Myles :) and I'm looking forward to it. I heard that they're showing the men's finals in sabre tonight at six, I need to find out on which channel. Myles has been working on his Freevo program, maybe he can test it out! Yeah that would be fun. I love where I work, its cool that I can sit here and blog for a few minutes without getting into trouble. But everyone knows I do my share of work, I'm definitely not a slacker. I just wish I had more to do right now....

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Sean needs to re-add comments

People don't like trackback. Sean complains about people not commenting on his blog in this entry. If he added the ability to comment on his blog again more people would comment. That's all I have to say.

Except for Trackback is cool, but commenting is easier.

I'm a brat!!

I was feeling just a little depressed today. I was trying my best to cheer up, but it kept coming back. But I feel better now, 'cuz I'm a brat.


Monday, August 16, 2004

But I'm not alone, he is
here, near me.
Out of the shadows
An apparition of fear.
He says nothing. His silence
Holds my voice; his gaze
Keeps my eyes.

But I can see; I see him
Reaching for me.
He caresses my foot, my leg
My thigh is tense beneath his hand.
I pull away. Desperation
Can not match insistence. My body
Trembles under him.

That no one hears.
My voice is all that escapes
His fingers on my lips.
My fear, my pain
Fills the air; my soul
As he takes me.

Saturday, August 14, 2004

please just let me sleep

I have been writing way too many blog entries when I should be sleeping. I can't sleep tonight. Again. This is very frustrating. And I have all kinds of stuff I need to do tomorrow. First thing in the morning I have to go sing with the chorale. We have to leave by 7:30 so we can be there by 8 for sound check. Then lunch with my parents, then I need to come back to SLO and clean the office. Then Risk Night with my friends. Then sleep (hopefully). Then another jam-packed day.

Oh I'm so tired.

So this weekend I went with Myles down to Sherman Oaks to visit his grandparents. That was a lot of fun. We left yesterday after work and just barely made it through the Friday night traffic to dinner. Dinner was so. good. It was at this really fancy, exclusive restaraunt/club for filmmakers and people in the film industry. You can only get a reservation if you are a member in the club, or if a member in the club sets you up. It was really neat. After dinner there was a magic show that was very entertaining. I really enjoyed myself. I've never been to a restaraunt like that, where you have your name on "the list" and have to follow a dress code and all that. But it was really fun. Then today we went to the Getty Museum and looked at all the paintings and sculptures and things. I was just as impressed at the building as I was at the works of art they had inside. Very cool. And after that we went swimming, since it was very hot. Myles is pleased as punch, because I didn't have a swimsuit with me, and I've been saying all summer that I should buy a new one anyway, so we went out and I bought a new one. That may not seem like such a big deal, if it werent for the fact that I had to buy a bikini. I don't wear bikinis. EVER. But he talked me into buying one. I hope you're happy Myles. You accomplished the impossible. I always swore I'd never wear anything so skimpy out in public. But now I have to, I don't want to spend the money on another one. Oh well....

So that's been my weekend. We drove home and I got to sleep at a pretty decent hour, but not really that early. And now, here I am at 4 in the morning and I'm wide awake. This really needs to end. I'm ranking it at about a 10.5 on my I-Would-Be-Perfectly-Happy-If-This-Never-Happened-Again-o-Meter, right up there with pap smears and these darn leg cramps I keep getting all the time.

But I've spent time blogging anyway. I'm gonna try to sleep again now.


Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Dang it

Dang it!!!!!!!!


I just spent the last hour writing this big huge-ol' long entry and I hit some stupid button or other on the keyboard and it erased EVERYTHING.

AAAAgh that is so frustrating

Forget it, I'm not writing that all over again. RRRghghghghhhhhhhh

Thursday, August 05, 2004

Good Morning!

So it's been a little while, lots of stuff happened since my last entry. So here's a quick little blog-update of what's been going on in Kim's world-

First, and most importantly, I have officially been dating Myles for over a year now. Our anniversary was on a Saturday (yay!) and we had an awesome time. I'm not going to go into huge detail, because I think Myles has already blogged about it so everyone who reads this knows already anyway, but I will say that my favorite part was the pictures. True, I am camera-shy and I was pretty nervous most of the time. Especially when it was time for me to have my picture taken alone. Let me tell you, that's a horrible thing for a camea-shy person, to have a professional photographer snapping picture after picture after picture and making small talk as if nothing's happening. Very very unnerving. Almost every picture she took of me showed how nervous I was. But we got one good one anyway, and that's all we wanted. There's also a picture of Myles that I think is perfect, and some of us that look very sweet. It's a very romantic thing, having a portrait taken with someone you love. I'm glad we did it.

On the work/school front, the opposition has begun. My co-workers asked me when I was going back to class, and I told them I've decided not to go this semester, and let me tell you it wasn't good. They're practically threatening me to make me go back to school. Even my boss said that I "have to take at least one class, two would be better". I'm trying not to make too big a deal out of it, so I haven't said much. But I still think that I need the break. I'm learning a lot at work right now that I think is better than courses for me. My coworkers don't think so . I've realized in talking with them that they don't think much of their job, or what they do. The office manager doesn't have a college degree, and she's disappointed with herself because of that. She seems to think that she would be doing so much better, or making so much more money than she is right now if she had gone to college. I don't really understand that, because I think she's got a great job. She's the manager for crying out loud. I would love to have her job. There's also this attitude that I run into so often that you have to have The Degree. That you're a nobody if you don't have The Degree. That you're uneducated, doomed to be an underling... Well I don't know. As far as school and work go, I'm going to stick to the path I've chosen. I'm going to continue to enjoy this break I'm taking, and hopefully do even better at work. I'm still hoping to get that apprenticeship. It's just a waiting game right now.

I have one month left at my current place of residence. In September my roomies and I are moving into a different apartment over by the fire station. I'm pretty excited about it, except that I'm going to miss the place we've been in. It's about twice the size of the place we're going to, and much nicer. But it's also 1800 a month if we stay. Forget it! I'll take the tiny but affordable apartment, thank you. I'm starting to plan in my mind all the things we need to get done this month- the phone, internet, PG&E, etc... plus all the packing we're going to have to do. I think I'd like to get a small u-haul , even though it's not very far. The fewer trips we make, the better. And I've seen that you can get one for moves in-town for only 20 bucks. Nice. So maybe we'll do that. I'm gonna run it by the girls first, but I think it's a good idea. I'm probably also going to break down and start paying for an internet connection. I've missed not being able to chat or surf whenever I want to. Ah well. I hope I'm going to be able to pay for everything I need to pay for. The past two months have been difficult for me financially. I don't make that much as a receptionist, and I have a lot of stuff I'm paying for. True, none of them are costing me that much by themselves, but they add up. My car, insurance, gas, health insurance, phone, food, rent.... Yeah it's all adding up. And I'm being about as frugal as I can be. I think it's just too soon yet to see how my finances balance out. I'll be able to do it. I just need time.

So let's see... boyfriend, work, school, money.... yeah, I've covered pretty much everything that's been on my mind lately. That means the only thing I have left to talk about is the choir. Tuesday night we sang for the very first time at the Fair! It was awesome!!! And the best part was, that one of the altos who had a solo couldn't make it, so my dad asked me to cover for her. Can you imagine? My very first solo ever was at the Mid State Fair! So much for starting out with something easy and not-intimidating. It was difficult because it wasn't the solo I've been practicing for the last 6 weeks, and I only got one week's notice that I would be singing. So that was a little nerve-racking. But I did allright. It wasn't a very long solo, and I knew it pretty well already. I thought my voice sounded a little bit weak, but from what people are telling me, it didn't come through. Which is good. I still have my heart set on that other solo I like so much. It was hard to stand in the choir and listen to someone else singing it. But I'm hopeful that I'll get a chance someday. Hopefully I've proven now that I really am soloist material, and my dad will consider me more seriously for the bigger ones. I think that he'll be using the song I like in the next easter program, if he does i'm going to ask him to audition me again. But that's not until next year. I've got plenty of time to keep practicing.

So that's it. Myles tells me I have internet conection again, so I can finally post this and go have some breakfast. I'm soooooo hungry. mmmmmmm, food....